YOU got this. I have faith in YOU.

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Divya. 

I write this letter to you today because I too know what it feels like to walk this path of uncertainty. As a twenty-eight-year-old woman who has always appreciated traveling to new places, practicing yoga, being out in nature, and how self-aware I felt I was, I grew up in a family where spirituality and using one’s gifts was seldom talked about. I’ve always kind of felt like the black sheep of the family and the one that was super curious about healing from within.

However, recently, things have changed. A lot. 

Going through a dark night can feel as if there is no safe space to turn to as even the mind is plagued with this egoic chatter trying to convince us that we must stay still.

Perhaps you are feeling anxiety in a way you have never felt before, your sleep patterns have become inconsistent, and your body feels as if it’s holding onto this existential tension that you just can’t seem to shake on your own. I know. I know because I am in the depths of these ebbs and flows right now. The pain may seem unbearable my love, but everything is going to be okay.

After trying to figure out what is actually going on, I stumbled across countless blogs and videos that have reaped a wealth of information to help shine a little light on this darkness you are experiencing.

One blog discussed how:

“Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dąbrowski once coined a term Positive disintegration which views tension and anxiety as necessary in the process of spiritual and psychological maturing. In other words, it is the friction within us that causes the mirror of our Souls to be polished enough for us to glimpse our True Nature.”-Lonerwolf.com

So, even though we are experiencing this friction that is actually our own growth process, it feels really hard. And as difficult as it is, we must retrain our minds to understand patience.

I will mention how reading through these blogs and constantly researching more about this stage of transformation and seeing other people’s success stories of finding the light and breaking through the darkness, makes it feel a little tougher. Why? (And maybe you feel this way too) And it’s because, for those of us who are feeling the depth of the void right now, we can’t necessarily see the light these people are talking about just yet. But there is a lingering sense of hope in your heart. That spark is what is keeping us going. Hold onto it.

So, I write this for you, my dear friend who I wish so badly I could hug and tell you we got this and will come out of this darkness together as warriors. This is for the person who is slowly rising, putting in the work to learn to just be each and every day no matter the capacity. For the person who is trying to understand this detached feeling but can’t quite put your finger on what it is that is wrong.

We are in this together. Truly. There is healing in the journey with others, and no matter where you are in this world, we are going through this together!

And I can tell you that this void, this emptiness that you can’t help but feel as you move about your day is a message. It’s a message from something greater than ourselves telling us it’s time to grow. It’s time to welcome change, and it’s okay to detach from any outcomes right now. Even if you feel overcome with fear, now is the time to learn how to reframe those negative thought patterns because you can control your reaction to this.

As Oscar Wilde so eloquently says,

“My desire to live is as intense as ever, and though my heart is broken, hearts are made to be broken: that is why God sends sorrow into the world … To me, suffering seems now a sacramental thing, that makes those whom it touches holy … any materialism in life coarsens the soul.”

As uncomfortable as it is to be in this “no man's land,” as many healers will call it, we are still here. Alive and breathing in that fresh oxygen from the moment we rise each morning to the point of sleep each night.

What I have found to be the most helpful healing modalities through this time is to learn to feel comfortable truly sitting with myself. Maybe you feel called to expand the ways you once practiced self-care, and that’s great! That means you are expanding, my love!

If you need a little help to start, you can plug in headphones when anxiety begins to rise and play a guided meditation on YouTube, write in a journal to get the thoughts you are experiencing down on paper into the physical reality, you can go outside and walk barefoot in the grass. These activities can all be deeply healing for your energetic body as it allows it to feel seen in this time you feel like you are breaking.

Living in this void can feel like a lonely place, but one day we will look back on this moment and realize all along we had been shifting from a space that no longer served us to a place that we will ultimately be able to take our power back.

This moment is all we have and as much as we want to run from it, especially those feeling the existential anxiety right now, know that we can not run from the truth. All we can do is surrender and accept what is right now. And when we stop and get still (even by reading this message now) know you are present and fully capable of becoming that person you are on your way towards becoming. Your true self.

Embodying this transformation stage is all we can do. And that’s okay. It is important to just keep reminding yourself that everything is going to be okay.

There is a fear that arises between all of this, and it is a confronting feeling of the fear of what comes next. I want to let you in on a piece of wisdom that has been encouraging me to find strength in this uncertainty despite being in my dark night, and it is that the fear we feel is telling us where we need to go to move forward. And that we will get there soon when we follow through with action.

“Fear means not knowing how to approach something of interest. It means we recognize something that we want, and can, in equal proportion, identify what it would mean to lose that thing — so our defenses spike.”

So take that leap of faith into that new hobby, into that new blog you wanted to start but never did, call that friend you always wanted to get closer to, play with your pup, or cook something that makes you feel good. You deserve to feel good now, and if you can’t feel love from outside yourself. It’s because all along, all you needed was to pour that love in. 

You got this. I have faith in you.