STILL THINKING.....In my last blog I wrote about Democratic relationship (DR) vs Relationship Democracy (RD), wherein DR provides legitimate authority to enter in a relationship as per your choice and will whereas later provides the freedom to act and practice a relationship with is beyond boundaries, yet it carries a stronger bond. 

In continuation of the same we must understand that Relationship Democracy is a wide as well as wild term, which has been seen as a taboo and has been rejected in the society for a longer time, since the concept itself is a bit scary, undermined and has been challenging the framework of legitimate bonds and authoritative nature of human kind. 

We all tend to enter into relationships with the other individual and want to share all the happiness, love, care and association of the world and in that effort, we often tend to forget about the individuality of the other person. Every individual has a unique set of liking, behavior, dreams, perspective of seeing things, strange patterns to react in certain situations especially in the phase of uncertainties, which they follow and keep changing with passage of time. We all share different priorities, passions and fantasies at different levels of our lives, even Maslow’s theory of hierarchy of needs justifies that, at each different level of life people tend to change and chase different level of needs. These needs are interconnected and have a vast amount of overlapping with another. We may same time dream about having a luxury car and parallelly think about self-actualization, two different extremes all together and it is practical as life is full of uncertainties and surprises and we live at different levels in different time zones and spheres.

It brings all the struggles and conflicts of the life and relationship. As we start entering in a relationship at will, the first and foremost thought remains towards giving the best I have to other self and we initiate the process by accumulating and imparting the mountain of such things and experiences for the person we love or enter in a relationship (Can be called as Democratic Relationship), this focus continues for a decent time and we start believing in the beauty and depth of our association and journey goes on. Democratic Relationship reaches to its peak when we start getting social and personal acceptance of that person in our domains and this starts building a benchmark for the individuals to maintain and then the moment comes for the first time where they start thinking about their social strata, their standings and recognition as a beautiful couple who are just made for each other. They get involved in so much pleasure giving that one day arrives when they awake from a sleep in which they have been for some days, months or years, differs person to person, and for the first time they encounter the first attack on their Relationship Democracy. 

It starts with the expectation for other to behave and act as per the norms set by the other partner, society, family, other’s need, dreams, expectations, choices, liking and disliking, principles and many more. A journey which started with You, Your happiness, your dreams, your liking etc, takes a U turn and becomes a journey of Me, my needs, my desires, my happiness and my status so on. This shift happens so quickly and unknowingly that we don’t often realize that the road we were travelling is already end and it’s a new path which will pave the path of conflicts and will destroy both DR and RD and by the time majority of us realize that the path we were at, has already ended, it’s already too late and we either live a life of uncomfort guilt and restrictions or we lose it all.

Relationship Democracy is that pillar which keeps the roof hanging firmly and strongly, it overlays the corridor to a stronger and longer relationship which has a firm foundation of freedom and acceptance of the individuality of the person and his dreams and desires. What may seem logical and just may not be logical or just for you, whatever may seem a life to me, may not be an option for you in farthest of possibilities, whatever is my aspirations and priorities must not match to you, whatever is my value system may prove to be just opposite to you, what way I live my day may be entirely different from you but this all mess and different traits and possibilities may not shake the foundation of our relationship as it is based on the principle of acceptance, freedom, respect and above all acknowledging and honoring the individuality of oneself and contributing to that with all the positivity. This path requires constant check and affirmation as we by nature we are self-centered and selfish and can’t see other living the life of his/her choice. This needs regular checks on our actions and words what we do and see. It doesn’t mean the elimination of expectations and desires rather it’s a path of collective happiness and journey, wherein I compliment you in your aims and way of life and you reciprocate the same. It opens the gates of welcome, praise, happiness, freedom and acceptance. It just takes a person beyond my self-possession and ownership to the sky of universal oneness and freedom.

Now Choice is yours which one you choose in your life, Democratic Relationship and end of the journey or Relationship Democracy with an alignment with universe and oneself....

"DEMOCRATIC RELATIONSHIP VS. RELATIONSHIP DEMOCRACY"

In the world where we debate over Democratic Citizenship vs Citizenship Democracy, we often tend to forget the key yet very fundamental issue of Democratic Relationship (DR) vs Relationship Democracy (RD). 

Entire world seems to be talking and taking actions to set up Democratic model of Citizenship wherein they can choose their Govt to be benefited with the set up and yet they struggle to implement the corresponding model of Citizenship Democracy which is much wider and complex term as it required huge amount of understanding, freedom and will. DC where provides a framework for humans to set up a Political, Economic and Legislative framework, the Later practices the real meaning of Democracy wherein Citizens choose and live the Democratic setup they what and unfortunately this is at the verge of extinction. 

We are so engrossed in these broader terms those provide a framework to people to design their ECO -System of the country, that we tend to miss the micro level impact of these on the lives of humans. Any Democratic setup can’t exist without an efficient Setup for Democratic Relationship and Relationship Democracy and this is the pity that hardly anyone has taken any structured steps to think, explore or establish these.

Off late societies have started accepting the selection of the partner and relation basis the choice of individual and have started accepting the love marriages, inter-cast associations and same gender emotions, but unfortunately such Democratic population is hardly <1% of the entire pool. Democratic Relationship is limited to selection of a partner or Relationship basis your choice and there is hardly any extension to it. Whereas it requires a broader meaning and extension to it. On the other hand, Relationship Democracy is a word which you will hardly find in any civilization in present terms, as it is very complex term, a concept which provides ultimate freedom to the person to live, choose, act and the way they want and with the person of choice, irrespective of tenure, intensity and commitment. You may misunderstand it with the concept of open relationships and Adultery, but it is not. This term has deeper meanings wherein there are no boundaries on the person and he/ she has the liberty to live the life they want and awarded with and yet they remain in the relationship of their choice provided by Democratic Relationship and yet society sees the person with respect as it is his democratic right to choose and act. These terms require deeper understanding and experience for a person then only individual can really sense the meaning of it. It calls for huge amount of emotional turbulence and journeys of guilt in case the other person is not of the same school of thought. It only provides freedom to exercise the options available with the human being with mutual respect and trust to comeback with pride, even with the broadest possibility that he/she may not turned back.

Democratic setup is a combination of Rights and duties and this applies to DR and RD as well, DR provides the Right and freedom to choose a relationship as per individual’s will whereas it brings huge amount of duties to be in that relationship till the last breath, on the contrary, Relationship Democracy opens the doors of any boundaries/ restriction, you enjoy unlimited freedom for self and other and bears the duty to provide similar freedom to your partner, which is easier said and done, but when you believe in the doctrine of Relationship Democracy, then you must practice the same for all and see with respect.